Those pundit types don’t hear well. They keep missing the foxy in any socks Senator Mitch’s clear proclamations. Elect us, we like the power and the money. What could be more important?
The GOP knows what America wants. It wants to pamper and coddle the interests of wealth. We do not need scientific polls that report America is strong on saving the planet. Majorities may favor serious steps to avoid extinction, but science is, well optional. Data things to pick and choose, everyone loves cherries almost as American as apple pie. Science is for nerds; we are the cool party look at our socks and guns. We the GOP know best. We must coddle corporate interests to keep the money rolling in. Queue up Evita. You doubt the GOP is cool, take a moment to look at Mitch, all foxy in his sockzees.
Because Mitch said we’ll let you know after the election the press has run with the GOP has no policies. Selling souls to monied interests isn’t counted as policy. Senator Scott, Republican from Florida (a statement in itself) laid out polices. Policies attacking social security and healthcare. Immediately the sharp minds in GOP circles realized while this may be the agenda, it would lead to defeat if the people knew it.
Oh, my what to do? We can’t just say ‘trust us.’ Americans are well aware of the high standards and principles in the party of Trump. On a scale of fetid swamp to Mount Denali most Republicans are happy with the leeches just below pond scum. A dilemma, if the GOP is honest about financially destroying everyone in the middle class, people will not vote Republican. Yet it is a must win scenario to keep the America our GOP loves. The one where Republican leaders are part of the oligarch class. We, the true Americans, the party of Lincoln, need a message and good messengers.
Many of our most valued voters were taught to despise Lincoln and honor Robert E. Lee. Like science we don’t value history; we just ignore the inconsistency. Since most of our leaders were on Bull Connors side, we need a better face for our messaging. Please Mo Brooks, sit down; many voters are not your real Americans. Yes, we are still working on changing it to be a registration requirement. The unqualified black woman can’t change our illegitimate majority on SCOTUS. Unfortunately, in this election many of them will still vote.
We have looked to the Heartland. Everyone loves the sound of the Heartland. Iowa, everyone loves Iowa. Did you see Field of Dreams? No Senator Chuck is too old and cranky. Senator Joni just not right. The governor has the right look and a soft innocuous voice, even when proclaiming Iowa will not worry about Covid deaths. The school kids can wear bread bags on their feet.
Yes, we choose Governor Reynolds, a woman who looks like she runs a real estate firm. The type of Mom who was too busy for the small details of family. The mom who caused your high school friend to hang out at your house. Supreme leader Kim is the perfect messenger. Iowa has the perfect message. Meredith Wilson said it all in the Music Man. Yes, sir there is trouble, trouble right here in River City. Forget the rhymes the trouble is Joe Biden. Even if it isn’t Joe Biden’s fault, it is the fault of the communist democrats who control him. Do not look at the shining sun of a new America. Look here at the dark awful days and fear more to come. We Hawkeyes have keen eyesight. We can see the pollution our unregulated farming practices are causing to our rivers and aquifers. No, we can’t. Pollution only hurts the little people; the stockholder class is profiting. But we Hawkeyes are sharp enough to see the real dangers. Urban areas especially coastal elites are ruining our dreams. Those whiny people complaining about being flooded from sea level rise or losing their vineyards to wildfire. If there are no redwoods, then California would look more like Iowa. An open vista of unchanging monotony rolling gently in every direction. It would be good. We are capable of head spinning back flips. If corporate interests tell us it is bad, we will quickly call it bad.
The danger is urban rioters, the colored type not those on January 6th. In fact, January 6th is a misunderstanding. Those patriot attempts to overthrow the government are understandable, considering how awful Nancy Pelosi is. It was simply a legitimate protest. The allies of communists, the media, are just exaggerating the events for ratings. Ignore that, let Governor Reynolds demonstrate why everyone should cower in their gated communities. All the right people live in that privilege. Listen to us; the nice soft-spoken community lady is telling you to be afraid, very afraid.
Some of us know the secessionists had every right to initiate a legitimate protest because Lincoln was a black Republican and a tyrant.
Sit down Mo Brooks.
America, listen to the soft soothing voice of Governor Reynolds as she portrays the hellscape Joe Biden is causing. Ignore the climate crisis, pretend we still live in the good era of Republican President Taft. A time when real Americans were in charge. Women couldn’t vote, and everyone else knew their place.
Steve Davis —- March 3, 2022
Forgottonia -- Shire Tales 